The Person Who Wants Love So Much They Never Get It
The School of Life
Apr 1, 2026 13:00
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Does your "dating with intent" often end in disaster? This film explores the painful paradox of the anxious lover: someone who wants security so desperately that their very urgency creates the instability they fear. Discover why childhood trauma leads us to "love with too much fear," transforming our need for reassurance into a cycle of criticism, pressure, and self-fulfilling prophecies. #AnxiousAttachment #Relationships #Psychology Unlock all the content of The School of Life with a subscription to our podcast, articles, videos, and exercises, specially tailored to your needs. Get weekly insights for better relationships, deeper self-knowledge, and inner calm straight to your inbox. Sign up for more ideas, plus 10% off your first shop order: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/
You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/article/the-person-who-wants-love-so-much-they-never-get-it/
“There is a person who, ostensibly, wants love very much. They are ‘dating with intent’. That is, dating with an intent to marry, to form a complete life with someone, to stop ever having to date anyone again. In many ways, they are a textbook example of anxious attachment in relationships: deeply earnest, intensely hopeful and determined that this time love must finally work…”
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CREDITS
Written and Narration:
Alain De Botton
Animation:
Max De Jong
https://www.maxinoodle.com/
Education
#the school of life
#schooloflife
#education
#relationships
#alain de botton
#philosophy
#talk
#self
#improvement
#big questions
#love
#wellness
#mindfullness
#psychology
#how
#to
#hack
#anxious attachment
#dating advice
#fear of abandonment
#childhood trauma
#self-sabotage
#hypervigilance
#trust issues
#emotional insecurity
#UK
#USA
#India
#human nature
#relationship anxiety
#why i push people away
#mental health
#intimacy
#self-worth
#attachment theory