Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?
The School of Life
Aug 26, 2026 13:00
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We've all been on terrible dates where a person's laugh, chin, or conversation style is an instant turn-off. But after your 20th or 87th fruitless date, a tougher question emerges: is it really them, or is it you? Start your free Membership trial – 2,000+ articles, 1,000+ videos, 50+ courses, free for a week: https://www.theschooloflife.com/membership
For many of us, the search for love is secretly sabotaged by a deep-seated fear of intimacy and an unconscious loyalty to solitude. In this film, we explore a brilliant diagnostic question to help you discover whether you're rejecting bad matches—or running away from genuine affection.
"On the face of it, ‘not liking’ someone during the dating game is everyone’s great prerogative. Who could possibly question our tastes if we complained - on leaving a restaurant or museum - that we found them too loud or too stupid, too weak or too supernaturally inclined? If we said we didn’t like their chin, or that there was something a bit weird around their hips? It is surely for each one of us to decide according to the movements of our hearts, and on that basis, to gain appropriate sympathy for repeatedly not finding - despite enormous efforts - someone worthy of our time and our desire…"
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